Wrestlemania 33 Why it sucked

Ok I have been pretty public about calling this card out on being such a bad Wrestlemania. I feel however that I need to elaborate why I hated it so much.

Pre Show

Neville vs Austin Aries

I like both guys,  I think Neville has a tremendous upside as a heal champion and I love Aries work, I enjoyed the match there were some good spots and believable near falls, I really liked the way Neville cheated to win, that keeps this alive for Payback which will hopefully be on the main show. 

6.5/10

Baron Corbin vs Dean Ambrose

It is a terrible indictment of WWE creative and their booking in general that Intercontinental Title match was relegated to the pre show, this is a belt held by Ultimate Warrior, Brett Hart, Rick Rude, Mr Perfect, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The  Rock, HBK and more, add that to the fact that the current holder is a former WWE World Heavyweight champion and a rising star like Baron Corbin and it is even more unbelievable. The match is solid but they don't get enough time and its the pre show so no-one really cares.

5.5/10

Andre the Giant memorial battle royal

*Yawn* Why should we care who wins this? WWE have failed completely to push anyone who has won this battle royal since its inception so what is the bloody point? Mojo Rawley winning was something I didn't see coming, but I doubt very much it will lead to much in the way of momentum.

AJ Styles vs Shane McMahon

OK this match was the worst match you are likely to see Styles take part in. It wasn't garbage but thats purely because of AJ. No1 from WWE can complain when they are called fake when they are booking Shane as a credible threat to the Undertaker last year and now AJ Styles, he's a stunt man, he can't work, he doesn't understand ring psychology and his punches  and pretty much 90% of his offence is just utter garbage. This did nothing for anyone and having Shane be so competitive actually hurt Styles, he's not a wrestler, he's a 50 year old man who doesn't look believable in the ring, seeing Shane wrestle competitively against top guys makes suspension of disbelief impossible and means that as a result you never really connect with the matches

4.5/10

Owens vs Jericho

This was solid but for a match with 2 of the most talented people in the company it really did fall  a bit flat. I am not sure if the crowd didn't care because they knew Jericho is going to be taking time off so he was clearly going to lose but this never really engaged me, on a side note I am not a fan of the apron power bomb it just looks dangerous.

6/10

Gallows & Anderson vs Seamus & Cesaro vs Enzo & Cass vs The Hardys

This was one if the best matches on the card but only because of the Hardys you take the HUGE pop they got and the emotion of seeing them back and its a pretty average, sloppy at times ladder match. The Hardys were clearly the most over people in the building it was awesome seeing them back I just wish they had been Broken.

6.5/10

Charlotte vs Bayley vs Nia Jax vs Sasha Banks

This was ok for a 4 way match which I am not a big fan of, there were some good spots, especially Charlotte's moonsault. It never hit the heights that the women are capable of and it felt a bit hurriedly put together to be honest. My god someone needs to sit Nia Jax down and make her watch tapes of Awesome Kong and learn to carry herself like a monster, she has no charisma, she carries no threat of violence in her demeanour and looks half asleep most of the time I don't know whether this is because she is green or if she just isn't bothered. I like that Bayley retained but I think Charlotte shone the brightest of all the women, everything she does looks great but this match just didn't really click and I think part of the reason is the way Bayley is booked, she is too competitive with a super athlete like Charlotte, for me I would book her more like the plucky underdog who shouldn't win but does, with her never say die attitude, booked like that you can create so real high drama and get the fans even more invested.

5/10

Cena and Nickie Bella vs The Miz and Marise

This was odd as the fans were fully behind the Miz which hurt the match, this was a pretty  poor tag team match that really didn't have any place on such a important card, it was only here as a vehicle to allow John Cena to propose, speaking of which said proposal afterwards was a touch weird in the way Cena went about it, "hey remember that time you were out of your mind on drugs and I said something that you don't remember? Well I said I would marry you, so lets do it!" but it was nice I guess.

2/10

Seth Rollins vs HHH

This could have been the match of the card, I think it just went a little long. I enjoyed the psychology and I thought barring a couple of moments they told a good story, Seth is such a good worker, he's improving all the time and he sold his knee really well. It sounded like there was a bit of audience apathy in this match which hurt the matches momentum. I think that is partly due to how long the card was and partly due to the finish being quite predictable. Still this was good and HHH looked amazing, how this guy looks like he does at this stage in his life is amazing.

7/10

Orton vs Wyatt

This was hugely disappointing, they weren't given anywhere near enough time, the projecting onto the ring was an interesting concept that was carried out poorly. Finally in a time where he badly needed to look strong the character assassination of Bray Wyatt continues, Orton didn't need another title win but Wyatt REALLY did. Baffling booking here.

3/10

Goldberg vs Lesnar

I really enjoyed this, it was what it needed to be and was about as good as it could be. We got some really physical stuff Brock looked strong but protected Goldberg with his suplexes and the crowd were into it. Anyone expecting a 20min or more match was mad. This was hard hitting and believable. I think this was the arguably the best match purely because it delivered what it needed to, it didn't go too long, they kept the fans engaged and the finish was exactly what it needed to be.

7.5/10

Alexa Bliss vs Mickie James vs Naomi vs Carmela vs Beckie Lynch vs Natalya

This was what it was, the women all did as well as they could do, but these multi person matches are never very good. The crowd popped for Naomi, I would have liked to see Bliss retain but its a switch that makes sense.7

 For my money a 1 on 1 or at most a triple threat match would have been much better.

4/10

Roman Reigns vs The Undertaker

The best part about this was Good old JR coming back to add some quality to the quite frankly shocking commentary. So we get JBL, JR and Michael Cole, I would of liked to see Corey Graves here instead but at least we got one decent commentator.

Undertaker should have never lost this match. Going on last and this being Takers last match he should of been allowed to go out on a high. I know it was to set up Lesnar vs Reigns but it still left a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't like this match I could see the story they were trying to hell, but it just didn't work. I usually like Reigns work even if I think they way he is booked is HORRIBLE but he looked really sloppy at times and this was just a bad end to bad show. I would love to know who was the agent for this match because it made no sense, Reigns should have worked full on heel here and not as a face, because there wasn't a chance in hell of him being cheered so just embrace it!

3/10

Production

This was Mania so everything looked fantastic the open air thing can hurt how well the audience sound comes across and that was the case here, and I don't think any of the entrances barring HHH's were particularly impressive at all which is a shame, but even with that production wise no-one can touch WWE

7/10

Commentary

Special mention goes to the announcing here which was Horrible with the exception of Corey Graves and JR we really missed Mauro here

.

3.5

Running time

Who in the blue hell books a 7 hour wrestling show??? This was just way, Way, WAY too long, even when the action isn't substandard (which it was) this was at least 3 hours longer than it should have been!

1

Everything else

I am about done with the New day, they were entertaining early in their run, now they just seem stale and contrived, that being said they did ok here and I dug the costumes but ultimately this show needed more star power then they could provide.

Pitbull and whoever the other guy was were terrible.

The predictable national anthem thing was fine I guess, I have no idea who the singer was though

4/10

Overall rating 4.8/10 which seems generous really

WWE: The State of the union

I literally cannot for the life of me understand how WWE has got so bad, is it lack of competition? Arrogance? The fact that a wrestling company is ashamed of the wrestling aspect? I don't know, there was a time in the mid 2000's when I would have complained at the lack of in ring action, but at least back then interesting angles were being written and new characters created who got over.

These days we get more in ring action but the writing is just horrible, am I the only person here who is fucking stunned that the big angle dominating Raw and the world title picture is "are Jericho and Kevin Owens still best friends?" I mean what the actual fuck??? You are seriously telling me that with 2 super talented guys like this they couldn't come up with anything better? Holy crap shoot me now, or better yet shoot the wrestling business because its fucking dying!!

This is what happens when you have years and years of hiring writers who have no connection to the wrestling business to tell your stories. I am sorry but unless you are a former wrestler, manager of a wrestler, or former promoter you have no business, NO FUCKING BUSINESS writing a damn thing on a wrestling show, I am not gonna rock up at the Southampton General hospital and expect to be able to perform brain surgery just because I work for the NHS, and you know what if I did the patient would fucking die and you know why? Because my skill set is different and I have no business in an operating theatre, the same way these fucking moron writers have no business anywhere near a wrestling show, stick to writing dick jokes for sitcom pilots and stop killing the business I love you god damn wastes of skin.

You know what's also dog shit, that you have the most talented wrestler in the world today and one of the most talented wrestlers of all time AJ Styles taking on and losing to James Elsworth. JAMES FUCKING ELSWORTH!!!!!!!! I don't have anything against the kid himself but fuck me, this is the equivalent of the WWE  pissing in the face of every fan who has ever truly loved this business. I bet some people are getting all self righteous now when reading, fuck you princess and think for a moment, cast your mind back and try and imagine Brett Hart, Shawn Michaels, Stone Cold, Bill Goldberg, Sting, Rick Flair, Harley Race or any legendary world champion you care to think of and imagine them being asked to do this? It wouldn't fucking happen because back then as inane as some of the stuff that happened was they understood you don't demean your champion and your world title that way I mean holy shit, this isn't rocket science for fucks sake.

There's probably some moron out there right now drooling down his vest saying "well the titles don't matter any more its the entertainment thats they selling point" don't give me that bullshit, I mean are you fucking retarded? If the title isn't important anymore then why the fuck should any fan bother watching your product, this is a simulated sport  right, which means everyone should want to be champion, if they don't then someone please tell me what the fucking point is to all this? That's the same as watching a Rocky film where he doesn't care about winning he just wants to make jokes, walk around and look like an idiot before being knocked put by some skinny little punk with no chin. Its stupid the people writing this stuff don't have a clue what they are doing.

We are talking about Cena, Undertaker, Big Show, Goldberg and Lesnar at Wrestlemania, because the WWE haven't been able to create a new star in 10 years!! They have the talent but its like they are either intentionally booking these guys to not be over, either that or there's a brain damaged monkey somewhere with a pencil writing all their creative, fuck me its horrible. At this rate next years Mania main event will be a triple threat match between Undertaker, Hulk Hogan and Rick Flair in the 1st ever event streamed live from a nursing home!! The only WWE programming worth watching right now is NXT but you bet your ass Vince will find someway to ruin that.

If the Wrestling business was a dog we would have taken it out behind the shed and shot it in the head a long time ago, something needs to change and change soon!

Whats wrong with wrestling?

I have avoided writing about Pro wrestling over the last few years due to the strong emotions it elicists in me, but I have finally have decided to take the plunge. 

Wrestling in 2016 is in a funny place,there been some excellent highs some bewildering lows and a whole lot thats in the middle. Over the last few years I have found myself no-longer looking forward to my weekly fix of pro wrestling or Sports entertainment, and its led me to ask myself "Whats wrong with wrestling?"

To give you some background on me, I am 34 years old and I started watching wrestling when I was 5 years old it was an epsisode of WWF Superstars I think, I remember it was Superfly Jimmy Snuka vs The Barbarian I don't remember much about the match, but I remember being in awe of these giants in the ring, I fell in love with professional wrestling then and continue to love it to this day. 

The problem is it's not been some grand romance, it's been rocky, REALLY rocky at times, its felt like an abusive relationship at times. I've seen the superhero era, the cartoon era, the attitude era and the spotfest era we currently see today.

It is hard to see sometimes what the business has become, but lets start on the positive aspects of the biz, we have a indie scene which is doing well and means the boys and girls can make decent money outside of the WWE,TNA and ROH, there are still 2 other wrestling companies in the US with national TV deals giving talent an alternative, even if TNA do keep on doing their very best to put themselves out of business, the WWE are bringinig in top indie talent in a way they have never done before.

I try to watch as much as I can but in all honesty I do watch more WWE product than anthing else so thats what I am going to talk about here.

There is no denying we have seen some top TOP matches this year in WWE, they have finally come to their senses and brought in Samoa Joe and AJ Styles, and neither is being buried or given a ridiculous gimmick.They are even treating womens wrestling seriously...sometimes, hell people like Prince Devitt are actually getting a push for gods sake! 

Thats all excellent right? 

Of course it is, but for some reason, despite the amazing roster, and lets be honest they have some incredible workers, despite the fact that we are seeing 5* matches and some cracking pay per views, despite the fact that a womens match headlined a major PPV, despite ALL that I am more  disconnected from the product than ever.

Why is this?

Whats wrong with this picture? How can they have all of the above going for them and still be putting out a product that is so often sub par?

Is the PG era to blame? Would  everything be improved by blood, thumb tacks and bra and panties match ups? Nope.

There is a lot wrong with WWE but in the interest in keeping my rambling to a minimum I am going to restict myself to 9 points which really grind my gears;

• 50/50 Booking- this is absolute bullshit, how in the blue hell anyone is supposed to get over with this is beyond me, oh wait they aren't getting over!!!! You have to build people up to get them over, my god if Goldberg had been booked the way WWE no-one would know who he is today.
• Scripted promos- Oh sweet zombie jesus this is awful, you have guys who have no idea about pro wrestling and how to work a wrestling crowd sending the guys and girls out with long scripted promos that to the best I can tell serve only one purpose, and thats to make us sit back and think "huh Hayden Christensen's acting was acutally pretty good in the Star Wars prequels." I mean my god these are not professional actors you are dealing with, these are wresters and they are never going to learn how to really work a crowd or really "get over" with this scripted bullshit. I mean it is just horrible to listen to at times, it makes me want to take a hacksaw (hooooooo!) to my ears just so I dont have to hear any more. The guys need to be sent out with bullet points on what they need to do and just be left to get the message out in their own way, thats how you find your character and your voice. The best characters have been the onces who could be themselves with the volume turned way up. If you see a wrestler who doesnt really know who they are, then why should we care?
• No-one is getting over- Now bear with me on this, look at the roster, really look at it and tell me who in that locker room is really over. To my mind in WWE at the moment there are 3 people, John Cena, Brock Lesnar, and when hes here the Undertaker, sure you have guys who are popular but no-one who feels like a star, no-one who puts bums in seats or sells pay per views. This isn't due to lack of talent its more related to poor creative and perplexing booking.
• Creative & Booking- At the moment WWE seem to me to be a Wrestling company that are ashamed of being a Wresling company, over the years we have seen more and more people with no wrestling experience being brought in. These people have no instincts for the business and have no business in wrestling, not in top positions at least. On top of that they seem to have the attention span of a brain damaged goldfish. And my god will someone please listen to the fans, stop being stubborn and turn Roman Reigns heel, yes the boos are annoying, no its not Romans fault but its not forever you know, you can turn him back and maybe by then it will actually mean something and people will like him again.
• No-one is selling- Ok a lot of my gripes so far have been with the office but this is on the boys and girls. It seems more and more like basic in-ring psychology is a thing of the past, you have people jumping about with this mexican jumping bean style of wrestling to quote Jerry Lawler, just nailing spot after spot with no sense of telling a story, they are just living for those "this is awesome" chants. The problem is its too much, it loses its impact if I see the same guy "defying death"  by thowing himself to the outside of the ring every single week in every single match. And when you have more than one guy doing this, as is currently the case, its even worse! I am all for great high spots but less really is more, these things mean more if they are used in moderation. Even the top guys don't seem to know how to sell, or don't do it consistently, the other night watching Hell in the cell I saw Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins both shrug of a superkicks like they had a cushion thrown at them, that move used to "knock people out" people have won world titles with a superkick. WTF. Ultimately it seems Wrestlers, have forgotten or are not being taught the fundementals, work a body part, sell when you are hurt, without that big comebacks don't mean a damn thing. This isnt just the wrestlers fault the road agents who help lay these matches out need to shoulder some of the blame for this.
• Cool heels - Over the last few years heels, with a few exceptions, seem more concerned with being cool, and selling their merch than they are with getting people to hate them. So if the heels are cool then why in the hell do you want the faces to win? The Miz, Rusev and over in NXT the Revival are for me some of the only people in WWE who seem to get how to work like a heel, Seth Rollins was an awesome heel until he set foot in the ring, then he worked full babyface with high spots and impressive moves galore, the business is crying out for a  main even heel who the fans can really loathe, Owens could be that guy but he's not there yet.
• The audience -  I don't know about you but I am so sick of the fans going into business for themselves, its just getting stupid now, Roman Reigns is a perfect example, hes not being  booed because hes a bad wrestler that is clearly not the case, its not even about him being rammed down our throats anymore, hes being booed because its "the cool thing to do" and so the audience get to hijack the show, just stop.
• Kicking out of finishers - I am ok with this in moderation but it is happening all the time now and it only serves to make finishers look weak, back in the day for example the Stunner more often than not meant the end, game over, on the rare occasion someone kicked out it made it a huge deal.
• 3 Men annoucne teams - I have never liked this, I dont think it works and I think it causes more harm to the product than good.

I don't want to be ranting about pro-wrestling, in world of Brexit, a Torie government and Linkin Park still existing I have better things to be ranting about then pro wrestling, I'm supposed to like it, but they make it SO hard!